Last night Naomi choked on a toy.*
It was ugly and scary. We're thanking God it didn't 100% block her windpipe, which allowed her to continue yacking it up whilst being pulled toward the door for a late night E.R. trip (in between back whacks and Heimlich maneuvers). Almost to the door, she gagged one final time and spit up a very slimy (and stinky) plastic horse.
Other than minor abrasions and having a hoarse** throat, it appears she's no worse for the wear.
Once the girls were calmed down and back in bed, all the horrid "What Ifs" flooded my brain, leaving me choking on a huge lump in my own throat.
What if Mikayla hadn't run for us? What if Naomi hadn't gotten up? What if it had lodged all the way in? What if, what if, what if????
Us humans are wired to grapple with the "What Ifs". It's necessary. To a point. We need to work through the "What Ifs" of future life situations (ie. What if my job relocates me? What if I adopt a special needs kiddo? What if the Starbucks nearest to my house closes?). We should make informed decisions after considering probable "What Ifs". That's healthy (and smart).
But that's where it stops, folks.
Rehashing all the horrible possibilities of past events is fruitless and divides my attention from the "What IS". Likewise, regretfully reevaluating what could have been done to avoid a situation will only prove valuable up to a point. Everyone has those sticky memories that become quicksand for ruminating the dreaded "What Ifs". This is paralyzing and turns us inward (no beuno).
In a nutshell, these thoughts need to take a long walk off a short pier.
Instead of getting hung up on excessive "What Ifs" let's focus on "What is"...and go hug your kid, for crying out loud.***
*Yeah. Not how I was thinking of beginning today's blog post either.
**Pun intended. Have I mentioned I use comedy as a defense mechanism?
***Yes, even if they are 53 years old.