cultivate (kuhl - tuh - veyt)
v. 1) develop 2) nurture

graft (grahft)
n. 1) transplant 2) bud 3) union

Monday, September 24, 2012

Battle of the Sexes (Part Deux)

Women are nothing more than men with boobs.

Women's Lib had some positive aspects. However, the fallout damage is significant.

The responsibility of this lays more squarely on the shoulders of both men and women, so without further ado:

Dear Women,
Knock it off. There's a a big difference between embracing our femininity and extorting it. Somehow the line between the two has become dangerously blurred. The other day, a woman came into my husband's place of employment in hopes of returning an item purchased. As soon as she realized the verdict of her return was up to my husband, she tried the ol' "squeeze and lean" routine.* There was no reason (policy-wise) for my husband to deny the return, so he gave the OK. As soon as he did, she stood with Emily Post-approved posture.
This is just one example of the pathetic behavior we've grown to believe is acceptable. Our bodies are not a means to an end; Our bodies mirror the image of The Creator. Treating it as anything less is fraudulent.  
It is not becoming to smugly display ourselves over our male counterparts. Yes, men are visual. Let's not turn that into a weakness by lording our bodies over them (as though that somehow makes us stronger). Provocative expression is just a glorified form of self-loathing, and that is not sexy.
Along the same lines, gender equality cannot be achieved via our bodies. Never mind that I think gender equality is problematic and unhealthy in the first place, you won't be taken seriously by men if you resort to "squeeze and lean" tactics. You may think you're getting ahead, but it's a farce. 


Dear Men,
First let me apologize to the boys from my high school. I didn't know then what I know now. While I don't think I deserved any awards for "Most Compromising Outfits and Conduct" I may have been able to walk away with a participation ribbon. I hope that your experiences in high school taught you that young women are dense when it comes to this whole "visual stimulation" thing, and are doing what you can to teach your daughters how not to be quite so dense.
That being said, you need to knock it off too. The woman you're looking for doesn't exist. The reality is that gravity eventually takes it's toll. Real women want to know that when gravity wins, hair greys, or a double mastectomy is in order that you aren't sneaking out the back door in search of greener grass. We are not perfect, and we don't expect you to be either. However, we do expect you to risk loving us (it's a dangerous business). It's not easy, but comparing us to unattainable, photo-shopped, enhanced, Hollywood women is not making it any easier on yourselves. I repeat: She Does Not Exist.


P.S. Chivalry is not dead. At the end of the day, most women still want the door held for them (darn those automatic car door un-lockers). Ignore the women who glare at you for being a gentleman.

P.P.S. If you're a little lost, check out Part One.

*Ladies, you know what I'm talking about: Push the girls together and lean forward to create optimal cleavage.


  1. I hope many people read this and put it into action, because, in this area of life, ignorance is not bliss.

  2. I read part 1 and just had to continue to Part Duex. (I also infringed on your copyright and sent this to my daughter after paraphrasing it so a 10 year old could understand it.) I hope I can keep her from making the same mistakes I did.

  3. Diana, I'm glad you shared it. Thank you!


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