Don't worry. Part two is headed your way on Monday. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, check out Part One.
Lest anyone think I live a pristine life, filled with one blissful moment upon another *snort* I present to you, Did That Really Just Happen? All from this week.
Enjoy the laughs at my expense.
Did That Really Just Happen?:
1. I left produce in my cooler bags for three days and wondered what "that smell" was.
2. I repeatedly walked by a giant black baby doll for half an hour wondering what had so wholly captivated Sophia.*
3. I guffawed (heartily) when the dental assistant apologetically told me they had accidentally popped out one of Naomi's teeth while flossing.**
4. Speaking of "that smell", I realized I needed to launder my daughter's shirt for AWANA. I tossed it in the washing machine along with the clean-up-the-bathroom-accident towels that had been in there for a day. No shame, people. Absolutely no shame.
And...
5. At my midwife's appointment (sorry fellas) while procuring my urine sample, I may or may not have peed on my hand for a full five seconds before realizing it.
That, my friends, is sightly disturbing.***
You are welcome.
Keepin' It Real,
Cynthia
*Which begs the question, "What was Sophia doing for half an hour that required setting up a decoy to distract Mama?"
**Before you report me to CPS, it was already a little bit loose. And anyway, have you seen how fast they floss teeth?!?
***Perhaps no more disturbing than actually sharing it on the World Wide Web...
You're too funny, Cynthia! I love the way you keep it real.
ReplyDeleteLove these. Here's my addition. Since I couldn't produce any genuine contrition from my son about his attitude, I had him sit next to me while I cut up 45 onions. And his watery eyes made me feel just a little bit better. ;)
ReplyDelete***ROFLOL***
ReplyDeleteAhem. No, I did not just laugh... I went waaaaayyyy past that ;-) Thanks!