cultivate (kuhl - tuh - veyt)
v. 1) develop 2) nurture

graft (grahft)
n. 1) transplant 2) bud 3) union

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Hey, Did You Hear The One About The Single Mom...

...who cried "foul"?

It reads like a worn out joke, but unfortunately this one is factual and not at all funny.

A single mother poured out her woes to her local chapter of the ACLU. It wasn't fair that her daughter didn't have a father figure to take her to her school's father-daughter dance.*

The obvious solution is to cancel the entire shindig. Problem solved.

Except it's not. Not even close to solved. 

Instead of working through consequences and trials, we're teaching the next generation to avoid pain, regardless of whether our avoidance triggers pain for others. Pain is not altogether negative. Great character growth and discovery can come from struggling through pain.**

We're raising a banner of normalcy and mediocrity. We're letting the next generation know that fitting into the majority is our God-given (or is it government-given?) right. Interest groups are always pushing to appear normal. Why? If we keep broadening the concept of "normal", nothing will be unique. What a sad day that will be! 

If everything is acceptable, how does anyone (or anything) become truly exceptional? 

Lastly, we're modeling an alarming sense of narcissism. I don't know the circumstances surrounding this single mom. For all I know her husband was killed in combat. I'm in no position to judge her situation. However, I can't help but wonder why there is no suitable father-figure in this child's life. Instead of supplying positive male role models for her daughter, this mom halted a long-standing tradition at a school, disappointing scores of families. It's so much easier to be self-centered than to sacrificially seek the greater Good. 

This leads me to ponder what areas of parenting am I redistributing blame off of myself and onto others, or onto circumstances outside my control (which is super easy to do when adoption enters the picture). 

Cynthia (In case anyone cares to read it)
**Says the woman who no longer cusses when she stubs her toe. Added bonus: I burn more calories by hopping around like an idiot for three minutes AND my kids see someone who didn't sin in her anger (Ephesians 4:26). 


  1. Girl, you're so clever. Great points here. Especially about personal responsibility.

  2. Excellent point! And I couldn't agree more.

  3. Well said and so very true! If no one can be unique or exceptional, then we are all little robots free only to march in a predetermined line. What a sad day that would be!


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