28 Ways To Connect With Your Child

Since February is the Love Month (or so I've heard from hopeless romantics), I figured I'd share a few ways to show love to those ankle biters who keep calling you "Mom". 

1. Begin by learning their love language(s). If you have no idea what I'm talking about, check out this book (or this one if you have older kiddos).
2. Whenever possible, make eye contact with your child when they talk to you, and likewise when you are talking to them.
3. Hug often.
4. Google "obscure holidays" and every month pick one (or more!) to celebrate.*
5. Watch home videos together. **
6. Get silly. Play ridiculous games together.
7. Climb in the fort with them.
8. Have family meetings and include their thoughts and opinions. Better yet, let them lead the meeting now and then.
9. Go camping, even if it's only in the backyard.
10. Learn a new skill together.
11. Sometimes it's best to leave the dishes in the sink and have a good snuggle instead.
12. Read a book under the covers with them.
13. Genuinely apologize when you've wronged them.
14. Listen wholeheartedly.
15. Pray for each other.
16. Surprise them with individual time with you (even if it's nothing more than staying up 10 minutes later than the rest of the kids).
17. Make up a story with the two of you as the main characters. ***
18. You initiate play, instead of waiting for them to seek you out. 
19. Laugh often and with abandon. 
20. Affirm their value in the family. 
21. Ask permission to relay anecdotal stories about them to your friends/relatives. 
22. Be vulnerable. It's OK if our children see our imperfections (keeping in mind age-appropriateness).
23. Don't share behavioral woes with any more people than necessary, and definitely not when your child might hear you.
24. Read to them (even if they can read independently).
25. Be trustworthy.
26. Just because they are young does not mean we are excused from respecting them.
27. Educate yourself on their interests; Learn the names of their favorite book characters, play their favorite Wii game with them, know their favorite band, etc.

28. In short, love deeply. 


Give It A Go,
Cynthia



*Does it get better than celebrating National Ice-Cream Sundae Day? Didn't think so.
**If you don't have any, get crackin'.
***Bonus points for illustrations.

Is Your Calendar Screaming "Uncle!"?

There are a lot of people who claim not to try to keep up with the Joneses. I see one area that screams "Liar!" to almost everyone. Parents, go look at your calendar. Girls Scouts, soccer practice, karate class, ballet, chess tournaments, swimming lessons, basketball, Cub Scouts, music lessons, drama practice, field trips, AWANA, bible quizzing, spelling bees, and by the way "Mom, I'm supposed to bring 400 cupcakes to school tomorrow."

So, maybe your brand of busy looks different than the Joneses, but we somehow feel like limiting our children's activities will leave them ill-equipped for real life. We're concerned that we will be criticized for not letting our kids partake of an array of activities. After all, where else will they learn such valuable lessons found in said activities?

Common reasons for enrolling kids in sports: Exercise, discipline, respect, and learning to be a team player. Don't we want those qualities applied, not just to soccer, but also to our family? Why should they learn those attributes from a coach? Why not enroll your child in a sport because they are disciplined, respectful and have learned to be a team player within their family? His/her coach will thank you, and you can rest in the knowledge that your child is receiving reinforcement training in what you have already begun (while staying fit). The only way we can achieve this is if we are investing serious quality time in training our children, versus saying a prayer and crossing our fingers.

When hard times come who will our children fall back on? Their ballet instructor, sensei, football coach? It should be us, which means we need to invest more time in our family now and worry less about whether Sally learns what it means to be a team player from someone who barely knows her. 

OK, before you revolt and tell me I'm suggesting kids don't do anything. Ever. Allow me to say that there is nothing wrong with signing your kids up for something. I personally shudder at the thought of signing my kids up for more than one thing. Our oldest takes piano lessons. That's it. Are there other activities she eyeballs? Yes. After she fulfills a year long commitment to her piano instructor, if there is something else she would rather do, we'll see what can be done. So far, nothing else catches her eye more than the ivory keys, so piano it is! This accomplishes a couple of things: First, my daughter is still involved in an extra-curricular activity. Second, it allows her to focus on piano and see if she really likes it. If a buffet of activities is always in front of a child, they are never going to be able to hone their skills in anything that's on their plate.

Would it be hard to go cold turkey? Umm. Yes. Whittle it down slowly. Compromise with your kids. It's not about a specific number of activities. It's about what it takes for your family to be a team before any one family member is part of another team.

The Joneses can't beat that.

Listening To Some Rockin' Piano Playing,
Cynthia