cultivate (kuhl - tuh - veyt)
v. 1) develop 2) nurture

graft (grahft)
n. 1) transplant 2) bud 3) union

Thursday, November 15, 2012

If You Can't Say Something Nice...

...Don't say anything at all.

Humor is practically a requirement in the world of adoption.

Things People Say:

She's so lucky.
We're both blessed to have each other.

Where is her real mom?
I'm not imaginary. 

Does she speak English?
Nope. We're closet Amharic speakers.

Why didn't you adopt from the U.S.?
They were fresh out of orphans.*

Now that you've adopted, I bet you'll get pregnant!
It's not a fertility treatment.**

I always wanted to adopt.
Crickets chirping
What a nice story.

She's so cute. I don't know how someone could give her away.
Because all major life decisions are based on appearances.

Your birth mom loved you so much. That's why she gave you away.
Thanks for giving my kid a complex about parental love.

She's going to be a track star!***
Yesterday she ran into a wall.

Does she get along with your other kids?
Like sisters.

I think it's great that you adopted when you could just have your own.
They are all my own. I promise none of them are loaners.

Where did you get her?
Three words: Blue Light Special.

Now you, at least, know what not to say to adoptive families.

Laugh a Little,

*I jest. Every family arrives at this decision for different and personal reasons.
**For the record, we were trying to conceive our latest peanut. However, if you're saying this to someone who struggles with infertility, don't be surprised if you get punched in the face.
***The stereotypes vary depending on what country your child is from. Because everyone knows that all Africans are fast runners, all Asians are mathematical geniuses and all Russians are alcoholics. 


  1. Russians are ballerinas, too. lol.

    Oh man. Can't wait for all the ignorance. ;)

    1. I forgot about the ballerinas! Alcoholic ballerinas...

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  3. There are plenty of Russian mathematicians, too. See So much for stereotypes.

    1. Unfortunately, every adoptive parent I know (and have read about online) who has a Russian child has gotten the "Aren't you afraid he (or she) will be an alcoholic?" comments. It's ridiculous, but true.

  4. Oh my! Echos of my mother's advice... Curiosity about adoption could definitely be expressed better sometimes.


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