Mikayla had a wonderful opportunity this past week to go to Disneyland with family. Last week I packed her bag, patted her on the noggin and shoved her out the door.* Three days later, she's home, and I swear she had the nerve to grow up a little bit more while she was gone.
I think I grew up a little while she was gone too. Remember when I said I get nervous at the mere thought of my children riding a Ferris wheel? Remember that Disneyland is a collection of death traps we so fondly refer to as "rides"? See where this is headed?
I was politely reminded by God to unclench and focus not on the "What Ifs", but rather "What Is".** I couldn't possibly answered the myriad of "What Ifs", but I can tell you what was: It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to spend a good chunk of time with family, build fantastic memories and get the heck spoiled out of her.
Deeper than that, it was an exercise for me to trust the Lord. It may seem ridiculous, but I caught a glimpse of what life will hold in the next 6-10 years with this girl. Today it's Disneyland. Tomorrow it's driving solo. Next week, it's watching her Daddy walk her down the aisle. I think I just sprouted a grey hair. For the first time, my mama heart was truly anxious about where she was going and what she was doing (despite knowing she was in good hands). It's only the beginning. She is undoubtedly going to make decisions, go places and associate with people that make me anxious. I have to choose to turn my anxious thoughts into sincere prayers. Now. Not when the issues are truly drastic.
Mikayla grew up a little too. For a while now, it's been her goal to ride a Ferris wheel.*** She did it and was utterly terrified. BUT she learned you can survive scary things. She has processed her experience much like she would any other emotion, and that is a valuable lesson we all need to learn. Too often fear rules our choices and actions. The sooner we shed the tyrant, fear, the sooner we can get down to the business of living for Jesus and loving in His name.
So, to summarize: Jesus has got it all under control.
Living and Learning,
*Don't believe it for a second. I would have bawled like a baby had I been home when they drove off to "The Happiest Place on Earth". Thankfully a previous engagement away from home prevented me from making an awkward scene in my driveway.
**I clearly need to be more careful about my blog topics, seeing as how God is going to use this to smack me upside the head. Prepare for upcoming topics such as the various consistencies of marshmallows and reviews on store brand hair conditioners.
***Apparently the ground isn't good enough for some people.