Jesus and Mental Health

My heart breaks and my knees weaken for the loss in the Warren family. My prayers are with them and those who have walked this devastating road ahead of them.

Matthew Warren's tragic decision has catapulted the topic of Christians and mental illness into an uncomfortable light; One which we would rather stay out of. On the whole, Christians are deep-down afraid to discuss mental illness. 

We feel an added pressure to hide or deny our own mental illnesses. Somehow it feels like we're not "selling" Jesus to the unbeliever if we struggle with something so significant as manic depression. The realm of psychological/psychiatric illnesses is under more scrutiny than the physical. If a Christian is diagnosed with cancer, the reaction is more direct: A very small minority will wonder if this is some form of punishment, but most will respond with sympathetic prayers. After all, as ugly as cancer is, these things just happen. We hear diagnoses such as schizophrenia, anxiety, bipolar or dissociative identity disorder and suddenly an ominous black cloud rolls in and the speculation begins. It's a sin issue at the least and demon possession at worst. We automatically connect mental illness with a spiritual sickness. There's no doubt that it's harder to diagnose and treat that which is largely unseen. To make matters worse, we lack a concrete cause to blame. We blame chemicals in our food for behavioral disorders, and nature for physical disorders. If we find a lump, or struggle with sensory input the solution seems so much more straightforward, and the cause non-spiritual.  Paranoia cannot be pinpointed with the same accuracy and it feels like it goes deeper than brainwaves and dopamine levels. It feels like it invades to the soul. And we squirm in our seats, afraid to pull at that thread.

Dear ones, we need not fear. This is a level playing field. All sickness is spiritual. From the insignificant sniffle to every single cancer cell, all is a result of evil loosed on this earth. From thyroid imbalances to chemical imbalances, all creation groans under the weight of falleness. All sickness is spiritual, because it is the result of sin-ness, but not all sickness is the direct result of one's rap sheet of grievances. Christians are no exception, and that is OK. We have allowed a dark church history to automatically marry mental and spiritual health. Are there instances where the two are intertwined? Oh, to be sure, but to suggest that Christians should never suffer from mental illness is like claiming that marrying a doctor will ensure you never get sick. We need not assume there is or is not a connection between someone's sin and their mental health and instead love the spiritually wounded, wherever they are and whatever their diagnosis. 


Love,
Cynthia

Let Them: A Saturday Series

Welcome to my first Saturday blog series! I was going to call it "Cynthia's Super Saturday Series Extravaganza!!!" but "extravaganza" doesn't begin with an "S" sound...

My Saturday Series will have a narrow focus and intended audience.* This first series is called "Let Them". There are so many things we just big, fat don't let our kids do. I'm going to meet some of those things head-on and see what happens.

Let Them Get Angry.

"But I Don't. Want. To. Wash. My. Haaaaaaaaaannnnnndssssss!!!" Each word is punctuated with stomps down the hall, followed by the sounds of angry hand-washing. Tell me you know what angry hand-washing sounds like? Water on full blast, slamming the soap down, grabbing the towel and leaving it on a heap on the floor...**

Or

Feeling hurt by a friend on the playground and (two hours later) using unnecessary force when unloading the dishwasher. 

Or 

The oh so wonderful eye-roll and huffing to the bedroom.

And I'm not just talking about me. Ba-doom, ching!

OK, but let's be candid; most of us have lost our tempers. I've slammed cabinets in frustration. I've raised my voice when I should have taken a deep breath. I've given icy glares to those I profess to love the most. I've offered lengthy lectures over piddly things. It never resolves anything, but if I'm willing to be honest, sometimes it feels satisfying to get really angry over something. The trick is not sinning in my anger. 

Why would it be any different for my kids? 

We have a general rule: It's fine to be angry. It's not fine to sin in our anger, and you do not need an audience. Therefore, you can be angry in your room (or the garage or backyard*** if the room is occupied at the moment). We'll reconvene once spirits are calm. 

It's a timeout without a timer. Take as long as you need to gather your senses and give your initial anger over to God. Usually within five minutes the (formerly...or mostly formerly) angry party has returned to the living room and is ready to address not only their anger, but any accompanying sinful attitudes and actions (this is where I apologize for the towel-throwing and eye-rolling). We pray together and I encourage them to ask God for help. If it's me who was in self-sanctioned timeout, I treat the situation the same: I apologize for any wrong behavior(s) and pray with my kids. No one is berated for feeling angry. Ever.

God has created us with a beautiful array of emotions. We don't need to be afraid of anger. There is a function to anger (after all, righteous anger can spur us into action). If we're too busy combating the symptoms (e.g. temper tantrums), we miss the heart issue and the opportunity to help our kids navigate their emotions in a Godly fashion.

I'd be angry if my hair was that static-y too.

Comparing Prices of Punching Bags,
Cynthia

P.S. All photos were staged. No children were angered in the making of this blog post (despite Mikayla's convincingly angry expression).



*A nice way of saying "Some of you could care less, because you're in a different stage/place in life".
**Before parenting, I had no idea hand-washing could sound angry. Oh the things we learn.
***Now is not the time to suggest they do "backyard duty". Nothing good can come from angry kids handling dog poop.