Sacred Intersections

Our lives are always intersecting with others. Sometimes these intersections are insignificant. I take my receipt and we both offer a shallow "Have a nice day." Other intersections leave us hot under the collar or walking with a lighter step. Still others leave an indelible mark, for which we are grateful. 

This is one such intersection. 

The difference of one week and we never would have met. Our eyes would never have connected along the bumpy roads of Addis Ababa as we took in the tragic beauty surrounding our crowded van. We would never have shared stories over bottled Cokes, or stifled tears outside the depressing walls of an orphanage. 

We brought our children home and began the journey of attaching and bonding, comparing notes along the way. We struggled apart in a together kind of way. There is something tenacious in the adoption community that cannot be diminished by the miles separating us. We are drawn to one another and to living a weird life. 

You stepped out in trembling faith to adopt a special needs boy. As if that were not enough, a street boy had approached us, begging us to be his mom and dad. You did what I (and countless others) had deemed "impossible" in order to assuage our guilt. You now call him "Son", and he truly is.  The handwriting was on the wall; You were destined for the extraordinary, despite yourselves. You, again, find your family on the precipice of something altogether faith-filled and utterly gut-wrenching. And I stand with you, linking arms, humbled to call you "friend", and burdened as you fight the anxiousness of the unknown. 

My dear readers, the words I write here are quickly forgotten, but the work of Tiffany and her family is of eternal significance. Please, please, PLEASE go see what they're about. Then decide how you can encourage them. 

Blessings,

Cynthia

And The Cornball Quote Award Goes To...

"Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher."
~Oprah Winfrey

This has to be one of the dumbest quotes I've come across lately. I understand the general sentiment; Don't surround yourself with idiots lest you become one. That's just plain common sense and also biblically supported.* Oprah takes it to a whole nother level.  She wrapped her words up in a pretty package, but the heart of her statement is unnerving. Another way to phrase this gem could be "Only befriend people who can benefit you, and forget about the people who need you but have nothing to offer in return." It's not quite as notable, and it won't easily fit on a bumper sticker, but isn't that essentially what has been suggested? 

May I flip this quote on it's tail? Love those who have nothing to offer you, and your true character will shine through. 

It's risky. It most assuredly can get messy and ugly. 

In a beautiful kind of way. 

All day I am surrounded by little urchins who bless me, yes, but cannot give much back to me. I am called to give of myself unreservedly, just as God gives of Himself to His children. Consider the orphan, redeemed into a family from a ghostly existence in a soiled crib. Consider the parents who embrace their special needs son/daughter, and face the stares and whispered comments with each outing. Consider the church with a homeless ministry on Saturdays, watching the same alcoholics take food and shampoo week after week. Consider grown children taking care of their aging parents, attempting to offer dignity till the end. Consider the volunteers in a counseling center or those who mentor foster kids, or lead a prison ministry. According to this quote, we shouldn't consider any of them. I certainly don't see Jesus modeling this self-absorbed formula for success. May I suggest that Jesus wants us to surround ourselves with the so-called loathsome mire of this world? How else can we possibly reach them unless we enter their ugliness? Their pain? I stand to lose myself and gain nothing, which is exactly where God begins to roll up His sleeves and use me in a tangible, life-changing way.

My beef is with four letters in the above quote: O-N-L-Y. There is a balance. Yes, we need people who sharpen us, challenge us, mentor us (which I'm assuming is what's meant by "lift you higher").** Those people, by hanging out with me, are befriending someone who may not be able to offer something in return. I am bettered, but not they. In turn, I need to be that person in the lives of others. This, by the way, is also biblical. ***

I'm sorely out of balance. I confess that and am asking God to pour me out to His people for the sake of His gospel. 

Whether they can offer diddly-squat to me or not.


Considering Much,
Cynthia

P.S. Oprah didn't return my calls to verify her as the source of this quote, neither did she thank me for her Cornball Quote Award. Oprah, if you didn't say this, I apologize and please return the Cornball Trophy. Regardless, someone said it, and whether it was Oprah or Joe the Plumber, my opinion remains unchanged.

* The book of Proverbs is a classic example.
**In other words, offer a general slapping upside the head as needed. 
***That whole Titus-2-older-women-teach-the-younger-women thing. Of which I'm no longer certain if I'm the younger woman or the older. Rats.

Onward, not inward.

In this post I alluded to a growing issue among American churches. We have lost some serious momentum. At some point, we were The Little Engine That Could. We pressed on. We lived contrary to the world. We reached out, dug deep and invited spiritual challenges (or at the very least, didn't shirk them).

Now, (too often) it seems like we're The Little Engine That's Doesn't Give A Crap And Doesn't Want To Be Bothered.

Crude? Perhaps.

Accurate? Mostly.

When I go out to a restaurant for lunch, I have expectations. I expect the server (who else slips up and still calls them waiters and waitresses?) to get my order correct, be courteous, and be able to answer my questions about unpronounceable dishes (not that I frequent places with tough names. "number #1" isn't exactly difficult.). I expect the food to be flavorful, served in a timely fashion and worth the price paid. I expect the dining area and bathroom to be pleasant and clean. That's about it.

Now, just replace "restaurant" with "church" and "food" with "sermon". It's pretty much what we're looking for in a church service. We want greeters to be welcoming (but not too welcoming-ever heard of personal space?). I expect a well-ordered service (that doesn't deviate from the bulletin/worship folder thing), and a pastor who can answer my paltry questions and include witty anecdotes* without going past 12:30. I expect the service to be worth my tithe, and the sanctuary (and bathrooms) to be pleasant** and clean.

The main distinction I see is that tipping is optional.

I did a quick Google search for churches in my city. I clicked the links for about 25-30 churches (eat your heart out Barna Group). Several churches had the standard annual outreaches to the poor in the community (blanket or sock drives, soup kitchens, etc.). Around five churches listed absolutely no outreach programs (one of which boasted a coffee shop and a spa***). One church's outreach link sent me to their automatic giving page. Of these 25-30 churches only ONE had an extensive outreach program. With the exception of this one church, the lists of ministries were much longer than the lists of outreach opportunities.

We have become preoccupied with our children, our youth, our college/career, our young families, our singles, our special needs, our retirees, our widows, our landscaping/building...You get the point. In addition, we get our dander all up when one of these programs isn't pulling their weight. Children's ministry took a night off. What in the world am I supposed to do with my kids (I'm guilty as charged on this one)? Perish the thought that they should actually see me worshiping!

"Ministries" has become synonymous with "Outreach". We have one ministry: People. We have one goal within this ministry: The gospel. It doesn't take new carpet, well-choreographed skits, a bigger keyboard or faith-based initiatives to communicate the gospel. It takes people in relationship with people. That's it. If I'm not doing that, I'm contributing bupkis to the Kingdom.

Now, don't get me wrong. I see the point of programs. I'm not a huge fan of a bunch of church programs (more on that later), but I get why churches have them. The problem is that programs have taken center stage, and the ministry of the gospel has been cast aside in favor of shiny new buildings. We've turned inward. We're no longer a mobile church moving onward. I also realize that there are churches ministering beyond themselves. One only has to look to churches such as Brook Hills (pastored by Dr. David Platt) to see that there are churches on the move in a radical, sold-out kinda way.

They are the exception, not the norm.

Regardless of whether your church is the exception or the norm does not excuse you (or me) from action. God isn't going to judge my actions based on my church. He's going to judge my actions based on, well, pretty much my actions. Ideally, churches across America would begin fashioning themselves after the gospel instead of tradition. However, in the meantime I am still called to move onward, not inward.


Blessings on this Labor Day,
Cynthia





*Unacceptable anecdotes include: Cheesy, worn-out-saw-them-in-an-e-mail-in-1997 anecdotes.
**Read, free of distractions. No loose cannons yelling "AMEN!", no coughing (especially if you're sitting directly behind me), no whiny babies and no problems with the sound system.
***Aaaaaand now my husband wants to go there so he can "get a mani/pedi while worshiping Jesus".