Let Them: A Saturday Series

This first Saturday series is called "Let Them". There are so many things we just big, fat don't let our kids do. I'm meeting some of those things head-on and seeing what happens.

Let Them Do What They Love

Disassembling transponders, creating new recipes, building a robot, writing original music scores, painting, gardening, raising sea monkeys. Every child is hardwired with certain talents and interests. We encourage additional interests, but there are inherent "bents" in each person. One person is artsy. Another is analytical. A third is adventurous. Too often society tries to cram all the kids into their cookie cutter hobbies. Everyone in grade school takes an art class which means painting old soup cans for Mother' Day pencil holders. What about the poor kid who would rather manipulate magnets or design a scale model replica solar hovercraft? 

Before all the teachers give me an earful about trying to staff and budget my insane programs, let me say thank you. Thank you for teaching art when you have a degree in history. Thank you for corralling 30+ kids into a too-small art room, managing to keep paint off all their clothes and making sure their mamas receive a Mother's Day gift. You rock. Also, I know you've been saving soup cans for eons and your husband was beginning to grumble about the overflowing bags of soup cans taking up residence in his garage. You doubly rock.

I'm not suggesting an elective class for building scale model replicas of solar hovercrafts (although, how cool would that be?!?). I am suggesting moms and dads foster their children's interests, even when they don't coincide with yours. What I am not suggesting is enrolling little Susie in hip-hop, ballet and tap classes just because she busts a move in the living room. Take it easy Tiger Mom. 

So your kid keeps disassembling your vacuum cleaner? Go to Goodwill and buy the cheapest electronic gadget and hand him/her a screwdriver. Your kids are forever planting seeds from their apple snacks? Buy them flower seeds that might actually grow into something.* You see, this isn't about automatically adding more extracurricular activities to your calendar; It's about sending a strong message to your kids. I see that you really enjoy ________. You possess a God-given strength in this and I want to encourage you to pursue it! So, as we say, easy peasy lemon squeezy.**

One more note: We may not get it. It may not be our thing. It warms my heart every time I hear mamas talk superheros and comic book villains with their boys, or daddies who listen to endless princess chatter. Parents who stay tuned in despite their own disinterest will reap precious benefits. When we disengage from our children's interests we disengage from our children. When we disengage from our children we've lost the opportunity to minister to their tender hearts. 

The current sewing projects taking over my coffee table.

Blessings,
Cynthia



*My children still insist on watering their apple seeds. *Sigh* Poor homeschooled children just won't give it up...
**Not all interests are cheap nor easy. But just because Susie busts a move doesn't mean it's time to whip out the credit card. Sit on it for a season before shelling out a dime, then consider Parks and Rec, or (seriously) Youtube dance tutorials (previewed and approved by you). If she still shows interest and promise, then discuss one class. 

Let Them: A Saturday Series

This first Saturday series is called "Let Them". There are so many things we just big, fat don't let our kids do. I'm meeting some of those things head-on and seeing what happens.

Let Them Blow Bubbles In Their Milk

Through a child's eyes, one of the best uses for a straw is reversing the airflow. For some reason, there is nothing quite as satisfying as the gurgle of milk bubbles, watching the mountain of bubbles grow to overflowing. The goal is pushing the limit. How high can you get the bubble tower without it actually overflowing or beginning to pop?

Through a parent's eyes, one of the best uses for a straw is to use them to draw straws for who cleans up the dog barf. 

In this day and age, parents are overly concerned with efficiency to the detriment of simple childhood pleasures. We wince when we see the puddle of glue growing. We inwardly groan at the thought of a fort, because it means extra sheets to wash and living space commandeered by a maze of blankets and chairs.* The most refreshing drink during the hot summers can be found at the end of a garden hose. Sure, they end up with wet shoes (or more) and could have filled nine glasses in the time they took to manage three slurps. 

So what?

I'm not suggesting we go all "Peter Pan" on life, but refusing (for selfish reasons) the carefree joys of childhood does little more than make for disappointing memories. So, mamas, go buy a pack of straws, enjoy sticky popsicles, make forts, drink deeply, not only from the hose, but of these days. These glorious, fleeting days.

Drinking Deeply,
Cynthia



*Not to mention the excruciating, cuss-worthy pain of stepping on a pocket flashlight.

Is Your Calendar Screaming "Uncle!"?

There are a lot of people who claim not to try to keep up with the Joneses. I see one area that screams "Liar!" to almost everyone. Parents, go look at your calendar. Girls Scouts, soccer practice, karate class, ballet, chess tournaments, swimming lessons, basketball, Cub Scouts, music lessons, drama practice, field trips, AWANA, bible quizzing, spelling bees, and by the way "Mom, I'm supposed to bring 400 cupcakes to school tomorrow."

So, maybe your brand of busy looks different than the Joneses, but we somehow feel like limiting our children's activities will leave them ill-equipped for real life. We're concerned that we will be criticized for not letting our kids partake of an array of activities. After all, where else will they learn such valuable lessons found in said activities?

Common reasons for enrolling kids in sports: Exercise, discipline, respect, and learning to be a team player. Don't we want those qualities applied, not just to soccer, but also to our family? Why should they learn those attributes from a coach? Why not enroll your child in a sport because they are disciplined, respectful and have learned to be a team player within their family? His/her coach will thank you, and you can rest in the knowledge that your child is receiving reinforcement training in what you have already begun (while staying fit). The only way we can achieve this is if we are investing serious quality time in training our children, versus saying a prayer and crossing our fingers.

When hard times come who will our children fall back on? Their ballet instructor, sensei, football coach? It should be us, which means we need to invest more time in our family now and worry less about whether Sally learns what it means to be a team player from someone who barely knows her. 

OK, before you revolt and tell me I'm suggesting kids don't do anything. Ever. Allow me to say that there is nothing wrong with signing your kids up for something. I personally shudder at the thought of signing my kids up for more than one thing. Our oldest takes piano lessons. That's it. Are there other activities she eyeballs? Yes. After she fulfills a year long commitment to her piano instructor, if there is something else she would rather do, we'll see what can be done. So far, nothing else catches her eye more than the ivory keys, so piano it is! This accomplishes a couple of things: First, my daughter is still involved in an extra-curricular activity. Second, it allows her to focus on piano and see if she really likes it. If a buffet of activities is always in front of a child, they are never going to be able to hone their skills in anything that's on their plate.

Would it be hard to go cold turkey? Umm. Yes. Whittle it down slowly. Compromise with your kids. It's not about a specific number of activities. It's about what it takes for your family to be a team before any one family member is part of another team.

The Joneses can't beat that.

Listening To Some Rockin' Piano Playing,
Cynthia